I was too subtle last year for our 01-Apr-92 issue, and this year I was too short on time to release an issue on that day. So, you'll have to make do with two articles that might have appeared last Thursday.
Apple Discontinues Quadra -- by Mark H. Anbinder, Contributing Editor -- email@example.com
Apple announced today that they will no longer manufacture the Quadra line. They have determined that the Centris 610 and 650 fill the basic need for 68040 computers (since they are available with optional FPU capability) and they do not want to interfere with sales of the Apple Workgroup Server 95 and other future high-end machines.
The AWS 95 is the "souped-up" server that Apple announced in March. It is based on the Quadra 950 platform and includes a PDS card that provides a large memory cache as well as direct-memory-access SCSI to provide high-performance storage capability that will finally live up to the performance capabilities of high-end hard drives and other components. The Quadra 950 platform is the only member of the Quadra family that has not experienced heat problems with the high-speed '040 processor. (The slower '040 in the Centris does not exhibit the problem.)
Although the AWS 95 will satisfy customers' needs for high-performance servers, it won't be suitable for users requiring high-performance workstations for graphics, publishing, animation, and scientific tasks. Rumors have abounded recently regarding Apple's development of a version of the Macintosh operating system for Intel processors. Apple just laid the rumors to rest with its announcement that because of delays in development of the PowerPC processors, and the concerns about ongoing heat problems with the Motorola 68040 chips, Apple decided to take advantage of their "MacOS Blue" project and the ready availability of inexpensive Pentiums (Intel's trade name for the processor commonly but incorrectly known as the 586) by shipping an Intel-based Macintosh late this summer.
[This assumes that the Pentium will ship in quantity and in high-speed configurations this summer, which many observers doubt. -Adam]
Apple Unbundles Return Key -- by Steve Dorner -- firstname.lastname@example.org
Effective immediately, Apple Computer has unbundled the "return" key from Apple keyboards. This allows Apple to lower the price of keyboards by $0.01. Users wishing to buy a return key will be able to do so through their local dealer. The kits will cost $99 installed, and are expected to be available in the third quarter of 1993. "We think this will enable more users to get return keys," said Apple chairman John Sculley. "Also, we want the money."