We’re sorry to report that Matt Neuburg will be writing less for TidBITS going forward, now that he has been named as one of the beneficiaries in the last will and testament of Apple co-founder Steve Job [sic]. Although the money was supposed to support religious and humanitarian activities (see below), Matt has told us that he plans to spend his £4 million on a small private island at an undisclosed location in the Pacific. “After all,” he told us, “what could be more humanitarian than that?”
Should anyone wish to contest the legality of Matt’s claim, here is the original email message he received, sans identifying addresses. It must be real and true, because it says, right in the email, that it is real and true.
SUB: LATE STEVE JOB’S WILL
On behalf of the Trustees and Executors of the late American Philanthropist Steve Job, chairman & CEO at Apple Inc. + Director at The Walt Disney Company. We wish to notify you once again that the late Steve Job. made you one of the beneficiaries to his (WILL), he bequeathed the sum of Four Million Great British Pounds Sterling Only GBP 4,000,000.00) to you in the codicil and last testament to his (WILL) which is eleven (10%) of his total funds of GBP 40,000,000.00 (Fourthy Million Great British Pounds Sterling.
This may sound very strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely popular traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends here or abroad who wished you well. Late Steve Job, the reclusive American-born philanthropist born in San Francisco, California.USA.
According to him this money is to support religious and humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in your society. Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope to hear from you in no distant time.
For more information contact me at my email
We look forward to hearing from you.
Yours in services,
Barr. Nelson Powell Esq
And no, there’s no way in hell we’re putting this in the email issue of TidBITS — we’d be blocked every which way from Sunday.