Technology can be addictive. Many of us use devices like computers, cellular phones, and handheld organizers on a daily basis; many of us require them to make our livings. Taken in moderation, technology use can be exciting, interesting, and mentally stimulating. But like any addiction, too much can be destructive. That’s why we at TidBITS believe it’s essential to take a step back every now and again. If your life seems overwhelmed by the technology around you, try this simple 12-step program to help you regain that sense of balance that’s no doubt been missing for some time.
Step 1: Sell or donate all of your computer hardware and software; unsubscribe from mailing lists, including TidBITS.
Step 2: Relocate to a monastery, convent, or other religious sanctuary, as appropriate.
Step 3: Cleanse soul, reinvigorate personal karma, eat healthy food.
Step 4: Stop making typing motions with your fingers when you talk; stop using the word “bandwidth” as a metaphor for consciousness.
Step 5: Replace six-colored robe with standard-issue orange, brown, grey, white, or other color indicated by the order of your choosing.
Step 6: Spend evenings walking in the sanctuary grounds; gaze at the heavens in contemplation of the serenity of space.
Step 7: Locate planets and constellations among the stars; count satellites as they drift by.
Step 8: Calculate the line of sight angles from refectory rooftop to arc of passing satellites.
Step 9: Evaluate the electrical power supply generated by the waterwheel attached to the mill.
Step 10: Convince sanctuary elders of the value of preserving timeless documents in digital format; compare Ethernet to the traveling scribes of yore; raise donations by appearing in a New York Times article about modern anthropological miracles.
Step 11: Order PowerBook G3, DAT backup system, and hardware for a satellite Internet hookup.
Step 12: Resubscribe to TidBITS.