First Nigerian “Steve Job” Spam
We’re sorry to report that Matt Neuburg will be writing less for TidBITS going forward, now that he has been named as one of the beneficiaries in the last will and testament of Apple co-founder Steve Job [sic]. Although the money was supposed to support religious and humanitarian activities (see below), Matt has told us that he plans to spend his £4 million on a small private island at an undisclosed location in the Pacific. “After all,” he told us, “what could be more humanitarian than that?”
Should anyone wish to contest the legality of Matt’s claim, here is the original email message he received, sans identifying addresses. It must be real and true, because it says, right in the email, that it is real and true.
SUB: LATE STEVE JOB’S WILL
On behalf of the Trustees and Executors of the late American Philanthropist Steve Job, chairman & CEO at Apple Inc. + Director at The Walt Disney Company. We wish to notify you once again that the late Steve Job. made you one of the beneficiaries to his (WILL), he bequeathed the sum of Four Million Great British Pounds Sterling Only GBP 4,000,000.00) to you in the codicil and last testament to his (WILL) which is eleven (10%) of his total funds of GBP 40,000,000.00 (Fourthy Million Great British Pounds Sterling.
This may sound very strange and unbelievable to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely popular traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends here or abroad who wished you well. Late Steve Job, the reclusive American-born philanthropist born in San Francisco, California.USA.
According to him this money is to support religious and humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in your society. Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope to hear from you in no distant time.
For more information contact me at my email
We look forward to hearing from you.
Yours in services,
Barr. Nelson Powell Esq
And no, there’s no way in hell we’re putting this in the email issue of TidBITS — we’d be blocked every which way from Sunday.
It's a good thing this didn't come out 56 days from now. ?
I would almost fall for it except for the part where it says he's a philanthropist....
so many grammatical errors only a fool would fall for this, eg: what the hell are Great British Pounds ??
They're actually a rare species of albatross, native to the Portsmouth area of England.
It's still not the first of April.
No, no, no.
You are thinking of Great BritHish Pounds (H capitalised for noticeability). Great British Pound is a species of small furry rodent that is able to retract its neck, much like a turtle. Pounds are reputed to live in groups, in dens called fourthy - which is derived from an ancient Celtic term meaning 'shaped like an apple'. We await further communication from Mr. Neuberg on the matter of processing the will.
Yours in clarification
Nelson Powell Esq. (Barr. At Law)
I doubt you can buy an island for £4 million, all the persian cat-owning Bond villains really jacked up that market.
Maybe if one gets taken out, his island will be foreclosed on? I imagine the real estate might then be cheap, but upkeep on the henchmen could be really expensive.
The writer was actually a snarky young Brit soccer hooligan, who confused the "benefactor" with one of his hooligan mates named Steve Yob.
["YOB" itself is an acronym for "Youf of Britain":-)!]