Seen on an envelope from MacConnection recently:
"Rush. Dated material. Dated for freshness. Blind dated. Updated. Open immediately. Open really soon. Open as soon as you can. Open sesame. Open says a me. Don’t fold spindle or mutilate. Many are called but you were chosen. This is not junk mail. Save for future use. Save for a rainy day. Save for a sunny day. Save for today. Live for today. Live for tomorrow. Search for tomorrow. No prize numbers enclosed. No secret decoder ring enclosed. We know where you live. Valuable savings inside. Handle with care. Envelopes love to be opened."