The Top 10 Reasons HyperCard 2.0 Has Not Yet Shipped
Disclaimer: It’s all lies. Lies lies lies.
These lies are fictitious. Any similarity to actual lies, fibs, or prevarications is purely coincidental.
These lies are the property of the HyperCard Development Team. Any rebroadcast, retransmission, or use of the pictures, descriptions, and accounts of these lies without the express written consent of the HyperCard Development Team would really be a bad thing, and in poor taste too.
Additional Disclaimer: These are last month’s lies. This month’s lies are very different.
10. Bill left without telling us how it worked.
9. We were saving it as a going-away present for Jean-Louis.
8. It took months to get the color out after we discovered that the manuals didn’t mention it.
7. We introduced it at the annual developers’ conference, and we thought there was a rule that says that anything you introduce at a developers’ conference you can’t ship until after the next developers’ conference.
6. Bowling shirts just take longer than T-shirts.
5. For most of us, it was a great way to avoid sweltering in Boston in August.
4. It took months to devise all those phony seed releases, with all those phony bugs, which we were doing only as a clever ruse, of course.
3. Nobody told us you were supposed to finish the thing first.
2. Howard Spira had his money on System 7.0.
1. We couldn’t ship until we had tested it with the new Macintosh LX, the one with the impressive performance, quiet ride, and distinctive styling, all for under $25,000. See your dealer today.
Kevin Calhoun — [email protected]